I know I said last week that I liked my students this year (so far), but that hasn’t stopped the Monday night “I feel sick and I don’t wanna!” feeling that I always get before Tuesdays (teaching day). Bah.
I realised today as I was doing the reading (rather half-heartedly, it has to be said) for tomorrow’s tutorials, that a lot of my tutorial teaching is a big act. A big act that I know all the stuff (which I do, but I’m no expert and I know it), and, right now, a big act that I’m even vaguely interested in it. A big act that I’m not resentful about the time it’s taking away from the work that I do want to do.
I’m tired of acting. When I’m talking about my own research, I get animated and ranty and interested and funny and passionate and heated. When I’m doing the tutorials, I just don’t want to do it, and it’s getting harder and more tiring to pretend that I’m not bored silly with it.