[I’m not actually up at 5.29am, post scheduling is a wonderful thing 🙂 ]
Over the last few years I’ve become a bit forgetful when it comes to anniversaries. I’ve forgotten my blog birthday the last couple of years even though the blog represents something quite significant for me over the last few years (you might not think so, given the often inane witterings, but still….). I’ve also forgotten my Christian birthday most years, but a couple of days ago I remembered so I thought I’d type up something in advance and commemorate it at the actual time, 22 years later, that I became a Christian.
Those of you who know me now and know that a. I’m not an early morning person and b. I’m not a late night person either, in fact c. I love to sleep for hours if my body lets me, might be surprised to know that I finally said yes, I’m going to stop fighting and acknowledge that I do actually believe this God stuff, at 5.29 am after an all-nighter with some friends from uni. It was my first term at uni, I was 18 – all those years ago late nights and early mornings seemed so much easier than these days! (creak). I think I’ve changed a lot since then, and not just my hairstyle (a mullet seemed like such a good idea in the late 80s!) – my opinions on lots of things faith-related, and my tastes in church and sub-culture, to name just a couple of things, have changed, or evolved, quite a lot I think – and there have been times when I’ve really wondered where God is. But, I still do believe, I’m still here hanging on by my fingertips, and still trust that some day the things I don’t get will make some kind of sense. I can’t let go, I think because God won’t let go. And I am so grateful for that.