… I applied for a job a few weeks ago as a research assistant. It was a part-time job which was right up my street in lots of ways. I heard today I wasn’t shortlisted, and whilst I’m feeling quite philosophical about this particular job, I am a bit fed up about my employability overall. I nostalgically just read the first ever month’s posts on this blog (nearly 7 years ago!!!!! – April 2004) and found a paragraph which made me go ‘eek’. It said this:
I was thinking today how what I really want to do is study/research and get paid for it. At the moment I have my full-time job which I really like but my heart’s not in it as I don’t find it particularly stimulating intellectually, and my spare time study which is suffering because I’m so knackered from work. So I end up doing neither as well as I could, and then beat myself up about it. It’s a vicious circle.
Hmm, my how I’ve moved on in my life. Actually that’s a bit depressing! (I’m in exactly the same situation as then, except I’m being paid even less than then! That worked out well then).
I keep checking job sites for suitable positions, but there’s not masses out there at the moment. I think I’m a bit frustrated because I am not even getting shortlisted for research assistant jobs (overqualified? Don’t know, they specifically said they would not offer feedback to unsuccessful candidates so who knows), but whilst I got shortlisted for lecturer jobs I haven’t got the publications profile or grant income to be an attractive proposition for that level so never get beyond the interview, so the RA job would have been ideal as I could have got a few publications from that job and had the time to write up my own stuff, and then applied for lecturer jobs having got a more impressive CV in a couple of years. I had a conversation with one of the ship folk on Sunday in Linlithgow, he works in academia and he was saying how the UK academic system churns out so many PhDs but then has nothing at all to offer them once it’s all over. And that’s true – I heard from a friend who does sessional lecturing at another university that they have now (unofficially) said that they will only appoint new staff with not only an enormous and earth-shattering list of publications but also a huge grant that they’ve already won before even starting the job, which in effect absolutely excludes new PhDs. I feel really in limbo at the moment. I just don’t want to be a health visitor any more. I’m so tired of it. But whilst HD’s job is not permanent I don’t feel I can just say sod it and leave my current job.
On top of all this I’m not getting any younger.
I think I need a holiday.